The other day, on approximately my 20th time through Gilmore Girls, I came once again to Season 7, episode 20. “When did you get so mature?” Rory asks best friend Lane at a karaoke bar. “I don’t know, I guess the mature gene kicks in once you become a mother,” Lane says.

A lot of women my age can’t imagine ourselves becoming a mother. Sure, we imagine having kids someday. But it’s weird to think of oneself as Mom. Mom knows where that lost thing of yours is. Mom can plan meals and coordinate errands and knows when you need to go to the doctor. Mom is both disciplinarian and comforter, and knows what to say when you’re upset. Mom is confident and keeps everyone safe.

As Lane puts it, Mom is mature. How does that happen?